The truth about designing your life

New Zealand Sky Dive

I recently set up the Facebook Group Design Your Life Global to start to build a community of like-minded people. I wanted to set up a positive environment for people to share ideas, tips and knowledge for designing a life that you want to live. A life where you are living each day to the full and not merely existing to pay the bills. I want to spread the happiness I have found in doing what I love to other people.


So, if you’re reading this, and you fancy joining in, please click “join” to be a part of the journey.


What does “Design Your Life” mean?

I realised that being part of a coaching community, I have quite an in depth knowledge and awareness for a lot of buzzwords that are trendy on the scene at the moment such as wellness, mindfulness, owning your life, peak performance and so on.

But I want to explore the meaning for anyone who doesn’t understand – it is a bit of an odd concept because it’s assuming you don’t already have some kind of ownership over your life, when of course, you do right?

Well, let’s put it this way. Do you want to be doing the job you are currently doing? Do you enjoy your daily commute? Do you socialise with people who bring you joy and give you energy? Are you in the best health that you can be at the moment? Are you working towards small, medium and large life focuses or goals to help improve your overall health and wellbeing? If you answered NO to any one of these questions. You have not designed your own life. This nicely brings me on to my next point…


How do I “design my life”?

Designing your life requires honesty, bravery, commitment and dedication from you. It’s hard, but the amazing reward is, it’s possible to live a fulfilling life that makes you truly happy. It isn’t always changing what you’re doing, it’s sometimes about changing your own mind-set towards what you’re doing and the way you’re doing it.

If you’re not in the best shape at the moment, it’s about thinking, what small steps can I, but also WILL I take to change that. If you hate going to the gym, but say to yourself, I need to go 5 times a week to get fitter. You’re not going to keep to those goals. So don’t set them, if you hate the gym and feel rubbish after going, don’t set that as a fitness goal. Focus on what you do enjoy, it may be going for a run in a local park, or doing a dance class, or maybe yoga or pilates. It may be meeting up and going dancing with friends, think about actions you WILL take.

If you’re not enjoying the career or job you’ve chosen to be in – why is that? When you’re in control of your own life, you make choices to do things don’t you? If you’re not happy, it’s simply because that’s the way you’ve designed your life.

Trust me, every single person in this world has commitments, has bills to pay, dependants, we all have the same amount of hours in a day as each other. So if you’re not happy in your job it’s because you’ve designed your life that way, let’s be accountable here. Life is HARD!!! But it’s hard for everyone, you’re no different!

You have to ignore the excuses, and take responsibility. Only then, will you start to make the necessary changes to impact your life and propel you from a life of existence to a life of living and abundance! Once you choose to be accountable for your own life and mood you become unstoppable.

What do I mean by a life of existence? I mean choosing to stay in a job that makes you unhappy to pay for an apartment that you don’t like in a city that you’re not enjoying. To drown your sorrows every weekend with a bunch of people you don’t care about to distract you from the fact you’re living a life that doesn’t make you happy.

What do I mean by a life of living? I mean enjoying your daily commute because you’ve been given an amazing opportunity that you’re happy to go and fulfil, I mean doing a job that inspires you to grow and energises you to be the best version of you that can exist. I mean you’re socialising with people who inspire and motivate you so that you grow and develop as a person.

You can find out more about techniques for helping you to achieve the above in 1:1 coaching sessions with me – you can find more information on the Coaching Page on my website.

What will “designing my life” give me?

Designing your own life will give you FREEDOM. Whether that be financial freedom, freedom from society, freedom from negativity – it will set you free.

It will empower you to see the beauty that life has to offer and to enjoy the five days in between weekend number one and weekend number two.

It will stop you from wasting that precious gift of life that so many people are so ungrateful for. We were all blessed with life, to enjoy it, to develop, to learn and to grow. Most of all we were blessed with the ability to enjoy our lives and be happy – both emotional choices, both can be impacted by the negative environments we put ourselves in if we let them.

Everyone has off days, or uncontrollable shifts in circumstances. But there’s a famous saying by Stephen Covey and that is “feel the feeling, choose the response” and he discusses this in detail with various different diagrams in his book The 7 habits of highly successful people if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. But the point is, we are in control of how we react to every circumstance we are faced with, we all have a choice.

It’s time to take back control, own the excuses and enjoy the life we are blessed with.


How do I know anything about “designing my life” at all?

I’ve actually designed my life for the better. A very interesting thing happened to me recently.

In January, I had already decided I wanted to go to the gym a minimum of 5 times a week for this entire New Year. I’ve always gone to the gym, but to improve my overall fitness and wellbeing, I had now upped this to a 5 days a week minimum workout (#maximumgains)!

I also wanted to face my fears of creating video content and videos to promote my business on social media. It is so important to not hide behind your logo as an entrepreneur. People want to connect with you – so you need to be visible right!

Finally, I wanted to spend time getting to know and investing in new clients which meant various meetings, groups, phone calls and so forth.

Also in the New Year I was offered a very nice freelance contract for a decent amount of money (a sizeable amount considering it was just after the Christmas period). But, this freelance contract would have meant I couldn’t achieve my business goals for January and it meant I wouldn’t have easily have been able to keep my fitness goals either due to long hours over 5 weekdays and a very long commute.

So what did I do? Despite the fact I really could have used that money, I stuck to living my own life that I designed and I took January for me. Yes I’ve still worked, but I’ve worked on my terms allowing me to meet my business and fitness goals for this month.

So, February, what’s next?!! LET’S DO THIS

The strength to make a cup of tea


I posted a post recently on my Instagram page about strength. It actually really resonated with me. It made me think about all the people who are silently suffering.

It also made me reflect upon the message I was trying to convey. I’m not sure if it was entirely clear from my Instagram post so I thought I would explore it further in my blog.

I don’t want my message to be misunderstood that I was glossing over tragedies and traumatic experiences and dancing the happy dance condoning pretending that everything is okay. Instead, what I was trying to say is that many people are going through horrific experiences, ones that you wouldn’t wish upon anyone and they are finding a way to keep going.

The inner strength and inner fire keeps burning within them and they use it to continue through their days.

I think it is all so very easy to become a victim to circumstance and to make excuses for why you cannot be what you wanted to be. The trauma or tragedy becomes the reason for our failure when instead, look how powerful that energy could be, if you turned that into a positive and made it part of your inner strength. Despite whatever has happened, you have still managed to turn it around, to be the best version of you that there can be. You have still managed to reach your version of success, whatever that may mean to you.

You may wonder why I’ve called this post “the strength to make a cup of tea”. It’s relevant because when a social worker tests an elderly person on independence and capability in their own home, one of the tasks that demonstrate their ability to be capable and independent, is whether they are able to take instructions to make a cup of tea, and successfully carry out the exercise. If they cannot, along with a few other factors, they may be required to leave their own home and go into residential care. So for an elderly person, suddenly making a cup of tea may require all the inner strength they have to prove that they can in fact remain independent.  

There are no limits in this world other than the ones we set ourselves. There are literally NO limits. When you think of it like that the world becomes an incredible place. I know the cynic out there will claim there are limits – what if they can’t afford it? Or they don’t have time, or it isn’t curable, or they’ve tried everything so far, or it’s genetic.

There is NOTHING stopping us, there is a solution to every single obstacle out there if you want to take the time, patience, energy, money to seek out that solution, I promise you it will be there. We are extremely powerful as a human race. If you don’t have the time…MAKE IT…every single being created on this earth has one thing in common 24 hours in EVERY SINGLE DAY. Find time. If you can’t afford it…find the money, generate more money. Think outside of the box. If you don’t have the skills, LEARN THEM, learn the craft. If you don’t have the energy – create it. Have you ever tried being miserable/lethargic whilst you are smiling, jogging on the spot with upbeat music on in the background? You can’t be lethargic, you have the power to change your own mental state. However, silly it may feel, give it a go…when you’re feeling low energy or low mood, go for a run and put some EDM music on at a volume that makes your heart sing and try to continue being in that low energy mood. You won’t be. Because you have physically changed your own mental state.

I think you may have got the message now that what I am saying is the only limiting factors are in our own minds. I’m not saying obstacles don’t exist, and I’m not saying we need to ignore our problems, I’m saying limitations we set ourselves get in the way of our solutions. Try turning the negatives into positives. Acknowledge the problem, feel the pain, find the solution. Yes, sometimes life sucks, but its sucks for everyone, you’re not special, it’s not always you, people have dealt with much worse and undoubtedly much better but it’s about using every single situation to help yourself grow. To help yourself evolve. To always be the best version of yourself that you can be NO MATTER WHAT.

To one person strength will be surviving cancer and to another person it will be being able to make a cup of tea. The subject matter is not as important as them being able to turn their personal traumas into undeniable, invincible and unbeatable inner strength.