overcoming obstacles

Winning Tactics For SUCCESS

Mindset Coaching

What is success?

Success can mean different things to different people. For some it’s money, for others it’s family, for other people it may be status or assets. So in order to be successful you first need to establish exactly what that means for you.

I recommend writing it down because then it becomes more real, you can stick it up on your wall somewhere where you will see it every day so you are constantly reminded what success means for you.

For me personally, success is 360° contentment. What do I mean by that? I mean that I believe true success comes from a healthy mind, body, spirit and outlook. When one of these factors are out of sync I believe it leads to unhappiness and unfulfillment. Unhappiness and unfulfillment may get in the way of you reaching your true potential and in turn prevent you from becoming successful.

A healthy mind

For me, mindset is everything. Looking after your mind is laying the foundation for your success. It’s making sure that you have balance within your mind. So you are practicing mindfulness through meditation, breath work, and being present.

It’s about living in the moment so instead of multitasking in everything you do; you’re actively trying to think about just one task at a time in the moment you are doing it. Cleaning your teeth you are thinking about your teeth rather than tomorrow night’s dinner and so on.

A healthy mind also requires positivity. The mind loves to focus on the negative; it’s drawn to it in fact. In order to maintain a healthy mind, we need to actively seek out the positivity and repeat those positive mantras so that we are attracting positivity into our lives rather than negativity.

Positive people attract positive people. Positive thoughts attract positive thoughts. It’s the law of attraction.

A healthy body

In order to take care of other people and tasks such as work and dependants, first we need to look after ourselves. We need to take care of our bodies which function like machines. Food is the fuel. We need to be making sure we are eating a healthy balanced nutritional diet and taking regular daily exercise. This is interlinked with maintaining a healthy mind because a good workout at the gym is proven to reduce stress and what does reduced or eliminated stress give us? A healthy mind. The health and safety announcement on an airplane advises you to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. We need to apply this to life, first we take care of ourselves so that we can be strong and dependable for other people.

A healthy spirit

I know some of you may be thinking well what’s a healthy spirit? Sounds like airy, fairy nonsense? Well sure, but I think we can all relate to a time when we’ve walked into a room and the energy in there is so low that if we’ve been in a great mood, it’s instantly changed our state from positive to heavy and down or we may even start to feel negative. Or, there’s that one person in the office who no matter what you talk to them about they find the negative to moan about and it instantly brings your mood down.

This is your spirit. You want to attract positivity, wealth and health into your life and you do this by living positively. Having a healthy, happy spirit. It’s about having good energy and passing on positive vibes. So if you have a bad experience happen to you, reflect upon the learning from that negative experience and take away the positive from it. There is a positive to all bad situations if you fight to look hard enough. And it is a fight, life is HARD, there’s no denying it, but the positivity is truly there if you want to see it. One of my favourite quotes of all time is by Roald Dahl:

“Watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.”

I’ve lived my life by this little mantra. It’s so true – there is magic and positivity everywhere – it’s just sometimes harder to find or see it. Sometimes negativity clouds our vision. Sometimes it’s just easier to be cynical and choose to let our negative beliefs limit us.

A healthy outlook

For me a healthy outlook is one that recognises what is happening but chooses to find the positivity, learning and development from every situation. This isn’t always easy either, but it is always possible. It is important to acknowledge feelings of hurt, anger, upset, despair – sometimes things do feel unfair. But once we’ve taken as much time as we need to feel that pain/frustration or anger we need to then learn and apply to our lives the lesson from it. Life repeats patterns to teach us lessons, only when we apply our learning do these negative patterns or cycles stop occurring.

Stats and Facts

For those of you who believe the proof is in the science – please click here and let me refer you to this article showing various studies that support the majority of what I mention above. Furthermore, click here for an article exploring the science behind the law of attraction – there’s also much more available on the internet about this – so don’t listen to me! Explore your own research!

Wishing you positivity in abundance and I hope you too can live a successful life by applying the 360° approach.

The truth about designing your life

New Zealand Sky Dive

I recently set up the Facebook Group Design Your Life Global to start to build a community of like-minded people. I wanted to set up a positive environment for people to share ideas, tips and knowledge for designing a life that you want to live. A life where you are living each day to the full and not merely existing to pay the bills. I want to spread the happiness I have found in doing what I love to other people.

 

So, if you’re reading this, and you fancy joining in, please click “join” to be a part of the journey.

 

What does “Design Your Life” mean?

I realised that being part of a coaching community, I have quite an in depth knowledge and awareness for a lot of buzzwords that are trendy on the scene at the moment such as wellness, mindfulness, owning your life, peak performance and so on.

But I want to explore the meaning for anyone who doesn’t understand – it is a bit of an odd concept because it’s assuming you don’t already have some kind of ownership over your life, when of course, you do right?

Well, let’s put it this way. Do you want to be doing the job you are currently doing? Do you enjoy your daily commute? Do you socialise with people who bring you joy and give you energy? Are you in the best health that you can be at the moment? Are you working towards small, medium and large life focuses or goals to help improve your overall health and wellbeing? If you answered NO to any one of these questions. You have not designed your own life. This nicely brings me on to my next point…

 

How do I “design my life”?

Designing your life requires honesty, bravery, commitment and dedication from you. It’s hard, but the amazing reward is, it’s possible to live a fulfilling life that makes you truly happy. It isn’t always changing what you’re doing, it’s sometimes about changing your own mind-set towards what you’re doing and the way you’re doing it.

If you’re not in the best shape at the moment, it’s about thinking, what small steps can I, but also WILL I take to change that. If you hate going to the gym, but say to yourself, I need to go 5 times a week to get fitter. You’re not going to keep to those goals. So don’t set them, if you hate the gym and feel rubbish after going, don’t set that as a fitness goal. Focus on what you do enjoy, it may be going for a run in a local park, or doing a dance class, or maybe yoga or pilates. It may be meeting up and going dancing with friends, think about actions you WILL take.

If you’re not enjoying the career or job you’ve chosen to be in – why is that? When you’re in control of your own life, you make choices to do things don’t you? If you’re not happy, it’s simply because that’s the way you’ve designed your life.

Trust me, every single person in this world has commitments, has bills to pay, dependants, we all have the same amount of hours in a day as each other. So if you’re not happy in your job it’s because you’ve designed your life that way, let’s be accountable here. Life is HARD!!! But it’s hard for everyone, you’re no different!

You have to ignore the excuses, and take responsibility. Only then, will you start to make the necessary changes to impact your life and propel you from a life of existence to a life of living and abundance! Once you choose to be accountable for your own life and mood you become unstoppable.

What do I mean by a life of existence? I mean choosing to stay in a job that makes you unhappy to pay for an apartment that you don’t like in a city that you’re not enjoying. To drown your sorrows every weekend with a bunch of people you don’t care about to distract you from the fact you’re living a life that doesn’t make you happy.

What do I mean by a life of living? I mean enjoying your daily commute because you’ve been given an amazing opportunity that you’re happy to go and fulfil, I mean doing a job that inspires you to grow and energises you to be the best version of you that can exist. I mean you’re socialising with people who inspire and motivate you so that you grow and develop as a person.

You can find out more about techniques for helping you to achieve the above in 1:1 coaching sessions with me – you can find more information on the Coaching Page on my website.

What will “designing my life” give me?

Designing your own life will give you FREEDOM. Whether that be financial freedom, freedom from society, freedom from negativity – it will set you free.

It will empower you to see the beauty that life has to offer and to enjoy the five days in between weekend number one and weekend number two.

It will stop you from wasting that precious gift of life that so many people are so ungrateful for. We were all blessed with life, to enjoy it, to develop, to learn and to grow. Most of all we were blessed with the ability to enjoy our lives and be happy – both emotional choices, both can be impacted by the negative environments we put ourselves in if we let them.

Everyone has off days, or uncontrollable shifts in circumstances. But there’s a famous saying by Stephen Covey and that is “feel the feeling, choose the response” and he discusses this in detail with various different diagrams in his book The 7 habits of highly successful people if you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it. But the point is, we are in control of how we react to every circumstance we are faced with, we all have a choice.

It’s time to take back control, own the excuses and enjoy the life we are blessed with.

 

How do I know anything about “designing my life” at all?

I’ve actually designed my life for the better. A very interesting thing happened to me recently.

In January, I had already decided I wanted to go to the gym a minimum of 5 times a week for this entire New Year. I’ve always gone to the gym, but to improve my overall fitness and wellbeing, I had now upped this to a 5 days a week minimum workout (#maximumgains)!

I also wanted to face my fears of creating video content and videos to promote my business on social media. It is so important to not hide behind your logo as an entrepreneur. People want to connect with you – so you need to be visible right!

Finally, I wanted to spend time getting to know and investing in new clients which meant various meetings, groups, phone calls and so forth.

Also in the New Year I was offered a very nice freelance contract for a decent amount of money (a sizeable amount considering it was just after the Christmas period). But, this freelance contract would have meant I couldn’t achieve my business goals for January and it meant I wouldn’t have easily have been able to keep my fitness goals either due to long hours over 5 weekdays and a very long commute.

So what did I do? Despite the fact I really could have used that money, I stuck to living my own life that I designed and I took January for me. Yes I’ve still worked, but I’ve worked on my terms allowing me to meet my business and fitness goals for this month.

So, February, what’s next?!! LET’S DO THIS

Continue in the fast lane

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How do you maintain the motivation and enthusiasm needed to achieve your dreams?

So you’ve got this great idea! You take all the practical steps, you get it off the ground and then slowly, slowly your interest waivers slightly…other people’s opinions and reservations overwhelm you. Challenges may feel too difficult to find a solution to.

It can be more than difficult to continue to find the motivation that you need to succeed.

One of the key motivations for me is that I want to succeed. There is an unstoppable drive within me to make a success of the business I have created (https://www.bethinkcoaching.com/about/). For me, the WANT to help other people be the best that they can be is so powerful that it counteracts the almost daily negativity that seeps into your inner chatter if you allow it to.

What holds you back?

There will always be reasons for you NOT TO do what you want to do. Your mission is to focus only on the reasons for you TO DO what you want to be doing.

People often have their own negative opinions of your entity, whatever that may be. This is for many different reasons. As humans, we find it far easier to focus on the negative rather than the positive. When someone else is doing worse than us it can make us feel better, more important, more successful. It’s far easier to be the friend that offers a shoulder to cry on than be the friend that shares your successes whether that is through social media or just over a coffee. Often when someone’s friend/associate/colleague is doing better than them, it can make them feel insecure.

It can be hard not to focus on other people’s negativity or lack of support but you need to be your own biggest fan and not let the negativity suppress or overwhelm you. EVERYONE has an opinion…and it’s your job to listen, but to focus on your own goals and not let other people’s fear/negativity/lack of knowledge obscure your direction.

There is a famous saying that is “do what you love and the money will follow” and it’s so true. If you love what you do, others will feed off that positive energy and success will, in turn, follow pursuit.

So how do you keep going?

There are some practical steps that you can take in order to stay on track and I’ve listed these below:

1. Check in with yourself. Remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing and what you are looking to achieve – so your aim and the outcomes.

2. List your objectives for the next month in the form of a step by step process

3. Discover and acknowledge what inspires and motivates you and make sure that becomes a non-negotiable part of every day

4. Network with other people who are doing what you’re doing and have made a success of it

5. Acknowledge that going off track can be a part of the process but bringing yourself gently back on track is imperative.

Finally, I find it useful to find an inspirational leader who is already successful and aspire to them to help keep you motivated. For me, @WillSmith never fails to deliver. Check out his motivational speeches on @YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q__aQFmhig